Rant Wednesdays 1: "It's not you, it's me"

Hello Lovely People,

Let`s face it, everyone loves a rant. If you`re Canadian then you probably know of Rick Mercer, his rants are GOLDEN (if your not Canadian and you know him, congratulations, you just won life!). Getting something off of your chest and expressing your opinion in one long, uninterrupted monologue feels SOOOO FRIGGING GOOD, it's quite magical. Listening to these rants, and the passion that goes into them, is also awesome. I like listening to my friends rant even if I don't agree with them, because I  know how satisfied they're going to feel when they're done. Plus people really want you to understand where they're coming from, making it a great way to really get to know someone, for all they're perks and flaws.

With this said, I'm starting a new post entitled "Rant Wednesdays", in which I rant about whatever is on my mind that particular week. This is both an exercise in creative writing as well as getting to know myself and why I think what I think. If you like my rants or just like the idea of a rant, I encourage you to do this on your own blog! As well as leave a comment :)

This weeks rant: "It's not you, it's me"

So for those who know me, or read last weeks Bits of Awesome Post (link here or on the side thingmabob), you'll know that boyfriend dumped me. The break up was actually quite smooth, he's been a really good friend for a while and I hope he remains so in the future (yes, we both hope that, it's not just me being clingy). So I'm not mad about the actual break up (well, not any more). No, what REALLY pisses me off was the oh so typical line "it's not you, it's me"

Well that's just fan-tucking-fastic.

OK to be fair, he didn't actually say that line exactly. I think the exact conversation went along the lines of: EX - I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. I love hanging out with you, but I need to figure myself out. ME- Couldn't you have figured this out before you asked me out. EX- Well, I guess, but I didn't know it then. ME- Well. Great. Ok?

Now I understand ending a relationship because you are not mentally ready for one. BELIEVE me, I've been there, and it sucks to have to do that to someone. I'm not, and hopefully never will be, pissed off at someone who breaks up with someone to figure themselves out. That's not the problem.

The PROBLEM is that this line, this stereotypical  STUPID line takes away the one good thing about a break up, this being your ability to actually be angry.

When you have just been dumped, being mad is the only satisfying part of it. Imagining horrible things happening to your ex while watching crappy teen horror dramas distracts you from the constantly crying, ice cream headaches and crappy teen break up dramas. It makes you feel more empowered  and is actually a healthy step on the direction of getting over it.

But then the stupid a$$hole who just broke up with you has the guts to actually make you feel guilty about feeling mad! I really like my ex as a person, and the thought of him being in pain because he made me feel like I was in pain made me feel even MORE in pain, making me pissed off! When you really like someone, you don't like to see them suffer. I could tell that he was suffering because he had made me suffer, as well as he was suffering from his own problems. This then made me feel guilty whenever I tried to rant about him breaking up with me. Which just made me even more mad, because he took away my right to be mad! Which then made me feel guilty and selfish for being mad at his guilt about making me feel pain, which made me feel even madder! It's a never ending cycle!

It's not his fault he's having problems. That I get, and if anything want to help with it, if I can. But I DON'T like him using his problems to take away my right to be pissed off. It might not be what he was trying to do, but that's what he did. And that's what people always do when they push their problems on their ex as they're breaking it off.

So for all of you people out there who feel guilty about being pissed off at your "It's not you, it's me" ex: be pissed of anyway!  Don't make my mistake and get stuck in thee guilt cycle of feeling for him (or her), because it's just going to make you even more confused and angry. Bitch them out, eat tons of ice cream, watch all the crappy teen films you can find and move on. Once you have come to terms with your own feelings, THEN you can worry about how to feel about his feelings.

Well, that about sums this rant up! Till the next post, keep on smiling!