Let's Try This Again

Hello Lovely People!

Sooooo... I'm starting a blog. Again.

I've tried to start blog's many times before. This one might end up in the same place that all the other's did, in the dark forgotten corners of the internet with the half baked live journal pages and MySpace. Or maybe I'll actually follow through with it this time. Maybe it'll even get views, who knows! The important thing is that I'm trying.

I've been going through a harder time than normal lately. Mostly because I've finally been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I'm pretty sure I'm OCD too, (but this isn't confirmed). And it's hard, super hard, to come to terms with this. Especially when it's been going on for so long. I've been having the worst thoughts and feelings for almost as long as I can remember and just thought I'd have to live with it. That I was a horrible person and deserved to have these horrible thoughts brought upon me. But I'm not a horrible person. I'm really not. Now I just have to believe that. Which might be the hardest part of all.

I want to use this blog as a way to vent my thoughts, fears and hopes about life and these conditions. I'm on a pill and doing some therapy, however I don't know if that will be enough. I need to feel like I'm using these conditions to help other people through their own issues. So this blog will hopefully turn into my diary/story about dealing with anxiepression (new word!), and hopefully this story will be useful to you! I hope that whoever you are that has stumbled upon this blog, be it by accident or on purpose, that you can use it to relate to your life. And that the things that I do to cope with life can help you in the way that you cope with yours. Because that's all we're trying to do in the end, isn't it? Find our own ways of living and dealing with what we've been given.

There's so much I want to say, but I'm currently finding it hard to get my thoughts in order, so I'll save it for a clearer day. I just hope that whoever might find this blog can use it to have some better days than I've been having lately! Keep on smiling, world, keep on smiling!

Cheers!
Alexis